THE WONDERFUL CONTROVERSIAL LOVE

"Love" is probably one of the loveliest feelings ever- be it any form and in the romantic form, it's a really ambiguous thing in terms of its validity and limits particularly in the Indian society and this controversy makes it the pivot point of Bollywood films... Probably, Indians are yet at an immature stage to discuss everything so clearly among all generations and this Blog Entry is just a part of one of the mails I once sent to one of my DAV Burla friends recently:

I was wondering what do people of our age generally think about love... At the time we entered our Colleges, we were pure children, who thought that those things which hamper our studies were quite incorrect... That type of things were regarded as total waste of time and fully incorrect... Slowly, we entered a different life when we moved away from homes, were covered with only friends, could exchange a lot of our ideas and most importantly, studies occupied a less portion of our time and priority, especially of Engineering students... It was the time when we felt we should break all shackles and do whatever we want... New couples formed in our Colleges and though initially we were critical of them, slowly their number grew so much and our very close and trusted friends were engulfed by our phenomenon that we console ourselves that there can be nothing wrong in such a thing that my friend Ms.X or Mr.X can do... In many people's life, people came who liked them and slowly some of them began accepting the proposals thus broadening the stream of committed people...

What I want to stress upon is the question that lingers in our minds as to why such a not-at-all-wrong thing is so much criticized by our parents and the elders in the society... The reason came into my mind after so much thinking and analysis... Earlier, our previous generations lived in a society in which marriages were purely on the basis of castes and sub-castes, the reason being that since a bride had to go to her in-laws house and be a member there from a very early age before she has realized what her own nature and  capabilities, it is needed that she be transplanted from her home into another home exactly same as her own... Since in early days, same sub-caste meant same social status, same economical status and hence, same lifestyle and greater ease of adjustment, arranged marriages within the same sub-caste was considered necessary... That time, society was not so much individualistic that anyone would dare to question the pre-existing rules of the society... Still, there were people who defied the rules of the society and the only option was eloping... Dis defamed love in the youth in the eyes of our elders... So, love was regarded as such a crime that it has still remained so in the sub-consciousness of the Indian society and any act is viewed in the line of degrading morality among the youth... That's the sole reason we were brought up by infusing in our minds that we should not love...

But, today's society is based upon the pillars of individual achievements and personalized ideals... In such a society, caste no longer defines our social standards and our lifestyles... In today's society, our tastes differ so much that it is not possible for anyone to understand us and obviously, our choices and interests are not decided by the home or society we are brought up in... The brides or grooms chosen by our parents are decided in a limited time frame and the validity of their being good and deserving of us is again based upon knowledge gained from common aquaintances of both families and there is no reason why anyone would speak against anyone unless there is any such serious reason... Even if the counterpart chosen is the best person, it is never needed and good and good go together... Two very good people need not be compatible and even if the other person is good, we may not be that good... After few years I think that if someone is a candidate for arranged marriage, maybe people would guess that he wasn't good enough to be in a relationship... I feel arranged marriages in India should be there only as long as we aren't able to choose for ourselves...

Thus, we live in a society that discourages love, but, can no longer afford to be against it after maybe a generation... After all, we are the descendants in the Land of Lord Krishna... He taught us every possible relationship that carries love be it between Mother and Child, Brother and Brother, between Friends or between two Lovers... How can a single face of the same noble thing bad... Love is bad when it is mean and wants anything back in return... Love is bad when it diverts itself from the sole reason of being for your Beloved and serving others with the humility that you gain from love... Selfishness, insecurity, possessiveness and dominance in love can never defame love because they are not love... They are the qualities which originated when people were in love, but, they can never be the results of true love... True love, be it in any form is always pure and it must happen... Let all people in live be blessed with the virtues of the Divine Feeling...

So, dear friends let me know what you do feel about this wonderful feeling... Let's agree that nothing done in the right way is ever incorrect and Love in a proper way is the greatest blessing ever...